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[Crash basked in the unspoken compliment as he took his own generous gulp from the remaining thermos. His tail briefly wagged faster before returning to its even pace.]

Wumpa cider.

[He's been making it his new tradition for the winter season with dried wumpa fruit. Considering its apple-adjacent flavor, the other striking note that's easier to notice from a clear jug rather than a thermos is the deep wine-red color of the final cider.]

It's good.

...Thank you.

[Ryou has another drink of the stuff. It spreads warmth out from the pit of his belly, soothing his distress just a bit. But...not entirely.]

I don't drink this kind of thing too much. Cider, I mean...

[Crash hummed again with positive acknowledgment and otherwise watched as each of his own breaths visibly puffed into the surrounding cold air. And while certain friends seemed to need and prefer this sort of silence more, the pig can recall what pulled Ryou up the last time something close to this magnitude occurred.]

Company is good.

[He idly drummed his gloved fingertips on his thermos.]

... My luck, not as much.

Company is good. But...as far as luck goes, yours won't get better being around me. And mine is immeasurably bad.

[It might take a little more than this to get Ryou out of his mindset. He's...quite ingrained. He feels bad for even asking if Crash wanted to spend time with him, but the loneliness of being left behind was too much to bear forever...]

Hm?

[Crash frowned before reaching over to rest a hand on Ryou's shoulder. It's not a hug yet, but things could easily get there. Even with this flash of confusion on his part, the minotaur's ears are up and alert for if the shade chooses to elaborate.]

[Ryou twitches a little when Crash's hand rests on his shoulder. It's not unwanted contact. Ryou trusts Crash enough like this.]

Sorry, it's just...I'm not good to be around, for anyone. I'm selfish to still want friends.

[He sips at the cider, keeping his gaze averted.]

[The shade keeps saying that sentiment, but Crash tilted his head and at first lets out a concerned and sympathetic whining noise. Ryou insists on it, but the minotaur still doesn't seem to follow.]

... If wanting friends is selfish, what am I?

[Ryou finally looks at Crash with tired eyes, shoulders sagging with what feels like the weight of all the peninsula on them. He doesn't know how to explain it right, but...]

It's not the same...because it's me who's cursed. You're not selfish for having friends because...you aren't.

A curse?

[Because that sure is a dramatic and yet also serious way to define things. His brows are still furrowed as he takes in Ryou's expression, while his ears swivel forward more intently, and his fingers still on the shade's shoulder briefly brush across the shirt fabric as they bunch up together.]

Who said that?

Why's it matter who said it? If it's true, then...that's the whole point.

[Ryou isn't sure if he feels up to saying "My boyfriend said I'm a badness magnet and he can't deal with that anymore."

...At least, not this early into the conversation.]

[Crash only puffed out a noise that sounded like uncertainty, doubt smeared all over his expression as his ears flicked back to pin themselves against his head. He pondered what to say if he could momentarily say something else...

But maybe it's for the best. The minotaur shifted to reach with the hand already on Ryou for the shade's far side, draping his arm across his friend's shoulders before pulling and bending him just enough to perch his boar head jaw-first onto all of that hair.

Ah. A hug.]

[A hug.

Ryou's not sure why that's what gets him, but his shoulders immediately drop, and his ears lower visibly as he goes slack in Crash's grip. This is stupid. This is all...so stupid, and so unfair.

Part of him wants to push Crash away, to protect him from the inevitable disaster he'd be heading for just by caring about Ryou enough to hug him. The other part of him however, simply accepts the hug for what it is.

Ryou doesn't talk this time, he just breathes, more audibly than usual. He's trying not to sniff or betray his emotions.]

[Crash dared to squeeze Ryou only slightly tighter as his ears tuned into the shade's breathing. And dared to nuzzle with his snout into Ryou's head as he did with a sudden sigh of breath that had all the air of an older brother who wants their sibling to just let go, let it out.]

Bad thought.

[Because if someone didn't say first, maybe that's what Ryou means as far as Crash could interpret.]

Just a bad thought.

["Bad thought."

Ryou sobs, despite himself. He appreciates everything Crash is doing, the nuzzle, the hug, everything. But being told it's just a bad thought is what sets him over the edge. It is a bad thought, but one that was seeded into his mind by someone he cared about, someone he thought would always be there for him...but who couldn't, simply couldn't stay by Ryou's side if he was such an unlucky person.

It hurts, right down to his bones, and so he cries, his tail lighting up with an anguished, deep and dark purple light, from tip to base.]

I don't want to be alone...n-not after...everything...

[It's all he manages, before devolving back into tears and sobbing and upset.]

[And he doesn't have to be for the moment. Crash closed his eyes as he maintained his position, moisture leaking into his bristles, but breathing through his empathetic upset into Ryou's hair.

This is fine. They can soothe what's hurting together.]

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don't feel beholden to this one...i know it took a while. u_u

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